When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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