Just cropdusted the office
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
