I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
