I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
