soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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