oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Randomize
