Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
