my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize