I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
