Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
