I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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