do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
