I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
