You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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