you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I can't put those talents on a resume
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
