Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
