her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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