Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
