she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
