kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Congratulations! We have a period
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