I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
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