Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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