As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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