Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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