Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
