So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Randomize
