On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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