I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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