Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
