Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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