I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I think I am morally bankrupt
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
