I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
