She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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