dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
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Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Houston, we have a squirter
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Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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