I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
