Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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