I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
