He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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