my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
