just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
