She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I am mentally ready for anal.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
