Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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