It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
