oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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