Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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