you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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