Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
