everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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