I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Michael Bay diarrhea
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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