my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm determined to sit on that face.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
