brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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