I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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