I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
