there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Couch. On fire.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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