How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
