that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Randomize
