I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
