Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
